‘Paranoid
fantasies are a response to the feeling that we are being treated with
indifference … they protect us from a more disastrous emotional state – namely,
the feeling that no one is concerned about us, that no one cares. The thought
“so-and-so has betrayed me” protects us from the more painful thought “no one
thinks about me” … It is less painful, it turns out, to feel betrayed than to
feel forgotten … paranoid fantasies are often a response to the world’s
disregard.’
For
Grosz, what we need most of all – far more than limitless praise or love – is
the sense of being attended to, of being noticed, listened to and worried
about.
I’m
writing a book about shyness, and it occurred to me after reading this that shy
people might be more inclined to paranoia, because they find it harder to make
an impression on the world, and are more likely to feel unnoticed, overlooked,
invisible. But I don’t think I have ever suffered from paranoia. Instead, I
have what seems to me to be – although I suppose I would say this, wouldn’t I? – an entirely rational sense of my own
insignificance.
Although agree the shy want attention as much as others do, don't think paranoia necessarily correlates. I'm shy but like you not unduly paranoid; a condition related to swollen but fragile ego, as in narcissism
ReplyDeleteThe paranoia could centre around the shy person believing any attention that they do get is negative. Fantastic book, quite an insight into the lives of others.
ReplyDelete