I don't know who, if anyone
reads, this blog, and in a way it doesn’t matter. ‘Before becoming a text, the
private diary is a practice,’ writes the French theorist of diarists, Philippe
Lejeune. ‘The text itself is a mere by-product, a residue. Keeping a journal is
first and foremost a way of life, whose result is often obscure ... it is a
wager on the future ... we are writing a text whose ultimate logic escapes us;
we agree to collaborate with an unpredictable and uncontrollable future.’ For
Lejeune, the diary ‘protects us from the idea of the end’, being one of those
illusions ‘that gives us the courage, day after day, to live out the rest of
our lives’. I always liked the idea of the Mass Observation diarists posting
their entries from around the country to the MO offices – first, to Grote's
Buildings, Blackheath, SE 3, and then to 21 Bloomsbury Street, London, WCI –
never to see them ever again. In a way, they were posting their diary entries
into the future and an unknown reader, like writing a message in a bottle and
throwing it not into an actual ocean but an ocean of time. In the absence of
much feedback, I think of this blog as a bit like that: I am posting it into
the future just to see what happens. But if anyone does happen to be reading it
now, I wish you a merry Christmas and bid farewell to 2012 with a couple of
snowy poems:
‘Morning
at last: there in the snow’
Morning at last: there in
the snow
Your small blunt footprints come and go.
Night has left no more to show,
Your small blunt footprints come and go.
Night has left no more to show,
Not the candle, half-drunk wine,
Or touching joy; only this sign
Of your life walking into mine.
But when they vanish with the rain
What morning woke to will remain,
Whether as happiness or pain.
Or touching joy; only this sign
Of your life walking into mine.
But when they vanish with the rain
What morning woke to will remain,
Whether as happiness or pain.
First
Sight
Lambs that learn to walk in
snow
When their bleating clouds
the airMeet a vast unwelcome, know
Nothing but a sunless glare.
Newly stumbling to and fro
All they find, outside the fold,
Is a wretched width of cold.
As they wait beside the
ewe,
Her fleeces wetly caked,
there liesHidden round them, waiting too,
Earth's immeasurable surprise.
They could not grasp it if they knew,
What so soon will wake and grow
Utterly unlike the snow.
Philip Larkin